Dedicated To Connor H.

                                         
                                                  ALWAYS On Our Thoughts ... Connor H.

                                                                               

                                            
                                          "I don't want to go viral, I want to set hearts on fire"
                                                        Union,Kentucky,USA 21 june 2012

                                                             "Hobbie Stuart : Skinny Love"
                                        (Dedicated to someone who really needs it : M. Al-H. (a blogger)



So I just thought of giving myself a break of blogging stories , especially that I'm working on my final exams right now ! Only on the Internet can a person be lonely and popular at the same time. I wear my heart on my blog. “I finished the [blog] post reflecting on the fact that, despite all the changes in my life, maybe I wasn't so different after all. If I typed it, maybe I could believe it, too.” Just going through alot those days ... Your blog is what you say when there is nobody standing over your shoulder telling you what to do.


And when people ask me : "why are you so weird ?"

I never know what to say.

but then i realized, why would i be like THIS , when i could be like tthhiissss ?? 




I dot think I say THANKYOU enough! You guys are amazing, I didn't expect you all to love this account when I started it! You're always liking and following me and I am so grateful. I hope that I don't seem like a pushover or big headed in any way but I don't see you all as my followers I see you all as my friends! I hope you know that I am always here to talk if you need someone or even for a gossip! Thank you for being so great 😘❤ 

So here's the stastistic : (Country-Number of person who visited my blog) : Kuwait-60

United States-21
United Kingdom-10
Russia-10
Lebanon-2
Philippines-1

Stay Strong ( 5th Chapter )

                                                                    Chapter 5


                                                          Kiss and (NEVER) Tell

Emma and I talked for a while longer, until she stood up a stretched. I guess sitting on a park bench for about half an hour can do that to a person.

"Do you wanna come over to my house?" She asked, zipping up her dark red sweater.

I thought for a moment. What about Dave? No... he wouldn't wake up until about 4 or something. "Sure." I answered finlly.

Emma's face broke out in a grin. "Great. I can't wait for you to meet my brother, Micheal. He's 17."

I nodded and smiled as I began pushing Lily's pram. She was still asleep.

~~~~~~ A Few Minutes Later ~~~~~~

"This is it," Emma annouced. I stared, in awe.

It was big and beautiful. The stone was a mixture of beige and dark brown, the roof was black, and there were 2 fountains in the front and each had a white marble horse rearing and a jet of water sprouting from it's mouth. There were big white french windows and the house it's self must've had 3 floors.

Then I realized my jaw had dropped open.

 "Sorry," I said, embarrassed.

Emma smiled. "It's okay." We continued to stare up at the magnificent house before Emma started walking up to it. "C'mon." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward it.

The inside was even prettier. Pictures hung on the cream coloured walls, the polished wooden floor gleamed, and a huge chandelier was dangling from the ceiling.

"Are those... real crystals?" I asked.

Emma nodded, "Swarvoski," then there were footsteps, and she turned to me, "that must be Micheal."

Sure enough a boy came down the 'Gone With the Wind' staircase; and he was gorgeous. His dark brown hair was mid-neck, wavy and thick. His eyes were a sparkly hazel and he was deeply tanned.

"Hi, Em. Whose this?" asked the boy, Micheal, obviously, looking at me.

Suddenly at a loss for words, I blinked and extended my hand, "Ginny... Ginny McTogan."

Emma gave a tiny snigger into her palm, but past it off as a cough-sneeze.

"I'm Micheal," said Micheal shook my hand; his grip was firm, but gentle, "well, why don't we go have something, uh... are you hungry?"

Emma nodded and I did the same.

"Let's go, then."

We all went into the kitchen, me pushing Lily's pram. Micheal began to make some grilled cheese. It was quiet until Emma stood up,"I'm gonna go to the bathroom..." she gave me a wink and small smile and left.

A thousand question ran through my head. What was with the wink? Why did she leave me alone with her brother? How many bathrooms are there?

"So..." Micheal trailed off.

"So..." I did the exact same, "er... nice house."

He nodded slowly, "thanks. Um... where do you live?"

"Tarna Estate."

"Cool... what's your story?" he asked.

I cocked my head, "my story?"

"Yeah, you know. Where you come from, your parents, why you have a baby..."

"Oh..." this conversation is AKWARD, "okay."

And so I ended up telling him exactly what I had told Emma. When I was done, Micheal was leaning across from me, resting on the black counter top.

"You know how to stay strong..." and then he came forward. I could see every one of his eyelashes. I could smell his cinnammon scented breath. I could feel his lips, warm and soft, on mine.

We finally broke apart, but whether or not it had been seconds, hours or possibly several sunlit days, I didn't know. All I could say was, "kiss and never tell?"

(A/N: SHMOOPY feel free to give some constructive critiscm) 

Stay Strong ( 4th Chapter )

                                                                         Chapter 4

                                                                          The Call

Three Hours Later and Dave had fallen asleep. I was Aching all over, I always did. I Decided that I would Call That Nice girl From the Bus, Emma, I Quietly Got out of Bed and Checked On Lily. She Was Fine But I Know Her Scheduled Bottle Was Supposed to Happen Half an Hour ago. I Quickly Got her Bottle Ready and Put it In The Microwave. I Picked her up in my arms and cradled her. The Microwave Bleeped and I Got the Milk out, Sat Lily on my Lap and Started to feed her. When She feeds, She feeds fast, It only takes her about 3 minutes to finish her bottle. I Propped Her up on The Floor, With cushions around her and Picked up the House phone. Dave doesn't Let me Have a Mobile, For a Fear I Will Start flirting with Other Men. I dialed In the Number and Waited for Emma To Answer.
"Hello?" She asked, From The Other Side of The Phone.
"Umm.. Emma? It's Me Ginny." I Replied.
"Oh! Of course! Hi, How Are You?"
"I'm.. Okay. I suppose. Where Do You Live? I was Thinking Of taking Lily for a Walk and I Thought Of Meeting Up With you."
"I Live at 337 Elmview Block. What About You?" I bit my Lip. She was Rich. Elmview Was Just around the Corner But it Might as Well Be On The moon In Comparison With Where I Live.
"I Live In... Errr... Tarna Estate. Number 22." I Nibbled at My Lip again. Was She going to be Less Nice Now She New Where I Lived?
"Cool, Just around The Corner, I'll meet you at the Pond In St. Johns Park Okay?"
"Yeah, Sure. See You In ten!"
"Bye" I Hung Up and Picked Lily Up and Burped Her. I Knew that Dave Wouldn't wake Up till at least 4. I Quietly sneaked into Mine and Daves Bedroom and grabbed Lily's Winter Coat , Mittens, Scarf and hat. I grabbed my Jacket and Bundled Lily Up. I Strapped Her in the Pram and Gave her, Her Soft duck. I got her down the stairs, Some how, and started the walk to St. Johns. I walked in and Immediatly saw Emma Sitting on a Bench    

I Started walking faster towards her. I got there But, Lily started to Grizzle. I sat down and Picked her Up from the pram and gently rocked her, but she screamed louder.
"Pass Her here, and I'll Have a Go." Amazingly Lily Stopped Crying. Was This girl a Miracle Worker?
She Sure seemed like one!

Stay Strong ( 3rd Chapter )

                                                                             

                                                              Chapter 3

                Quite the Cryer? Well... Who Could Blame Her?

 

 

  We Lived On the sixth Floor, and I could hear Lilly's Crys from the third. The Building wasn't Fancy. Graffitti On The walls and Pee in the Lifts, That Sort of Thing. We Lived in Number 382, Next to 380 and 384. I fumbled through My Bag and found my Key. I heared Lilly Scream Louder and shouted through the door :"It's Okay Momma's Coming!
I Pushed My Weight against the Wall and the door creaked open. I saw Lily on her back on the floor and Dave On The sofa with a can of beer in his hand.
"Hey Baby!" He said getting up. He was about to step on Lily so I Quickly picked her up and put her In her Cot. Dave came over to My Ear and Whispered:
"Why Don't we Take advantage Of you Being here?" He said, Trying To Be suductive. But All My Feelings of that With Dave Were Gone. Dave Knew that I Didn't Like him in That Way, But his Terms with me still being here was That I Had to Have Sex With him at least once a day.
"Just Let me put Lily to sleep Yeah?" I said.
"Sure. I'll Be waiting..." He said Trailing off. The Flat Was Stinking of weed and Whiskey. I Hated Living here But me and Lily Have No where To go.

My Mom had Left me And My Dad. She was a Punk, Emma Reminded Me of Her. She Didn't Like being Settled Down. My Father and Mother Met in New York, Where My Father Worked, At The Time; My Mother was On Holiday. She and My Father Met In a Dodgy Nightclub and One Thing Led to another... Well you Get the Point. My Father felt bad about leaving Mom and He went after her To Florida. It was an Unhappy Relationship. My Father Is a Buisnessy Type of Man. He likes Things To Be Organised And Boring, But My Mother was A Full On Punk. Her Hair Was Bright Pink with Electric Blue Streaks. She always Had It Gelled Up In a Mohawk. My Father showed Me a Picture of That and I Can just Remember that I Laughed. My Mother left when I was 7 because she Found Someone Else. She always Sends Me a Birthday and a Christmas Card with $150 in it. I Never seemed to miss her. She Was Not needed. I always felt that I could Cope on My own but, Now I Know It's Not that Easy. Me and My Father Were Never close. He gave Me $10 Pocket Money a week, Increasing to $15 When I Got To 13 and cooked Dinner for me. He Did The Laundry, Did the Dishes and Every Normal Things And if I needed new clothes Or Shoes Then he would give me The Money. He Never gave Me a Hug Or Said I Love You. That's just the Way It was. Until I Met Dave. I Met him When I Was 14 and he was 16. At First he Didn't tell me He drank or Smoked. He would take me out to dinner and would Take me To The Movies. He sent me Romantic Texts and Brought me Gifts. I'd Felt wonderful with All this Love. I'd never Felt Love Before or What it was Like. He Took Me To A Party when I was 15. He said To Come and enjoy myself. To Relax and Have a Few Beers. We Had Sex For the First Time that Night and One Time Was Enough. I Had Lily 7 and 1/2 Months Later. As Soon as My Dad Found Out I was Pregnent He Told Me to Live With Dave. It was Best For Both Of Us. I Belived Him and Now here I am. I Picked Lily Up In My arms and Whispered:
"I Love You" I always Told Her this. I Didn't want her to feel Unloved. She was My Daughter and I wanted to Look after her. As soon As I Leave Shcool I am Going to Get a place of My Own. Away From Dave. She drifted to sleep easily, as always. I Put her Into the cot, Took a Deep Breath and walked Into Mine and Dave's Room. Quite the Cryer? Well Who Could Blame Her?

 

 

Stay Strong ( 2nd Chapter )

                                                   Chapter 2 : The 'Interview"

"Let me get this straight," Emma, the girl, said, "You had unprotected s** at a party because you were drunk?"
I was silent.
"Is that it?" Emma persisted.
I sighed. "Yes. That's it. It was my first time being drunk..." I trailed off.
The bus rambled on as there was more awkward silence.
"I know I'm, like, a stranger, but, um, could I, like, interview you?" She asked. Seeing my incredulous look, Emma quickly added, "Not for a newspaper or anything. Just you and me."
I hesitated. Should I really trust this girl I didn't even know? "Okay. What would you like to know?"
She beamed and asked, "Where were you born?"
"Right here in Florida." I answered quickly. I was twirling my long dirty blonde curls around my long, slender fingers. This meant I was nervous.
"Who are your parents?" Emma questioned. Of course she'd ask that question.
"My dad is Ethan McTogan... My mom is Brittany Benson. She left us when I was seven." I told her. The thing I always found strange was that I never really missed my mom. I doubted I would miss my dad either... but we'll get to that later.
"How old are you?" She asked, her electric blue-green eye scanning my long face. I noticed she was a punk. Her hair was dark red with white, black and purple streaks in it. It was one of those haircuts where it was longer in the front and back, but there was no hair on the side with a messily, chopped top and her eyes were lined with thick black, it's what it looks like, believe me, marker. Or at least it was that and eye liner.
"I'm sixteen." I answered easily.
"Only sixteen? Really? You look nineteen. Anyway," Emma continued, "When's your birthday? Mines October thirty-first."
Born on Halloween? I would never have guessed I thought sarcastically.
"I was born on the second of May."
Her outfit looked like a costume or one of the kinds you'd see at thrift stores. Her jeans were skinny, hot pink, had rips and a zebra pattern. Strangest pants I'd ever seen. Emma's tank top was black and had the name of a band I'd never heard of in red. I couldn't make out the name properly though, because of her dark purple sweater which covered most of the name.
"What's your boyfriends name and what's he like?" She asked like this was the question she'd been waiting to ask.
"Er, well, his names Dave, and, um, he's okay, I guess." I said sheepishly. "He's an alcoholic, though."
Emma's eyes widened even more than they had. "And you're still going out with him? Even though you have a daughter?"
"Yup." I was suddenly aware of what I was wearing; A lavender skinny strap, light blue skinny jeans that were ripped, I hadn't brought them like that!, and covered in dirt and a black sweater.
"Ooookay..." She sounded a bit disgusted, "What's your daughter like and how old she?"
"Lily's seven months. So far, she's quite the cryer. So far, my favorite feature of hers are her green eyes... my eyes." I said quietly.
The bus came to halt, and I realized it was my stop. "I guess this is bye?" It came out more like a question, though.
"Oh. Okay. Well, er, here's my number, er... What's your name?" Emma said.
"Ginny. Ginny McTogan." I told her.
"Cool. See you, I guess."
I smiled. "See you."
With that I hopped off the bus and watched it bump off in the other direction. Sighing, I turned to enter my boyfriend's apartment building. I stepped in inside the doors.

 

 

Stay Strong ( 1st Chapter )

                                                               Chapter 1 : Such A Surprise

I walked Into school with my Hood up and my Head Down. I tried to walk Directly to Home Room, But they were too clever For me.
"Oi!" She Shouted, Breaking Into a Run. I walked a Little faster, Almost to the Door. I felt someone grab Hold of My Bag. She Dragged Me into the Girls Toilets and up against the Wall. Her two friends, Jodie and Leah, walked In And started to laugh.
"She Just doesn't learn, Does She S?" Snarled Jodie, Taking over for S, Or Saxon as Is Known By Everyone Else. Jodie Grabbed my Bag, And threw On The Floor.
"Alright, Alright! Enough! Now Why Did you Come, Sllut?" Saxon Asked me, Or should I Say Demanded. I kept my Head Low.
"WHY DID YOU COME TO SCHOOL AFTER I TOLD YOU NOT TO???" She Screamed In My Ear.
"I Don't know." I replied Quietly.
"What's That? All I could Hear was The Terriefied Yelp Of a Sllutty, Little Rat!" The Bell Went, and she Punched Me on The Arm. I Yelped and They Laughed.
"See you at break" She Kicked My Bag In a Little Puddle of Wet, and Walked to Her Class. This Was How It was Most Days, When I Bothered to Come to School at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Walked Into the Class Room, and Breathed Deeply. Everyone Stared.
"What Time is It Ginny McTagon?" Mr Webber Asked me.
"Umm, 9:04?" I Guessed.
"No, It's 9:10. Detention." And The Bell For 1st Period Rang. I almost Ran To English, So as Not to be Late. Then My Phone Rang. I Looked at the Caller ID. Great Just what I Needed, Dave.
"Hey Baby," He Slurred. He was Drunk. "Urrrr.... Lilly's Cryin, Waddu I Do?" He said. But I Didn't Answer. I walked out of School and Ran to the Bus stop. Luckily, The Bus was Just around the Corner. I knew I shouldn't of Left Him Alone with Her. He was an Acoholic, And She was a 7 Month Old Baby For Crying Out Loud!
"Single To Eccleswood, Please." I said and Handed Over the Money, and He tutted. There wasn't musch Room so I Sat Next This Girl at The Back.
"Hi!" She said, Like I'd known Her for Years.
"Hey?," I said. " Sorry, Do I Know you?"
"Proberly Not, I Just Moved Here From California."
"Oh."
"Are You Skiving?" She asked.
"No... Well.... Sort Of. But It Is an Emergency"
"Oh I see! Your Seeing your Boyfriend." She said Innocently. I Flinched.
"Sort Of. I'm Collecting My Daughter Off him." Her Eyes Grew Bigger, Surprised That I was a Mom. Everyone Was...

Mini About Me Page

Hey, so I'm around 15 years old and I like to write stories / one shots / imagines . I spend part of those

 days wondering how to combine my two loves, comic books and easter eggs. The rest of my time I

spends trying to design killer user interfaces.I write funny. Not strange funny, but ha ha funny. Well,

maybe strange funny sometimes too, but only in a good way. I’m just a girl, standing in front of the

internet, asking it to love her. =P Sooooooooo.... I don't know what to say , but I don't want to stop

writing :) Anyways this "mini about me" page , is done .Now don't read the next sentence .





I like you little rebel.

All feebacks , comments (even the shitty ones) are welcome !

You can tweet me at : @lukes_ass1 (I know it's weird but wait till i make a new one !) and you can

g-mail me at : shmoopy95@gmail.com (shmoopy foo foo) *awkward*

Cheers mates .